How to Get Over Someone You Never Even Dated

You weren’t officially together. There were no anniversary photos or shared playlists. But somehow, the breakup—or whatever you want to call it—hurts just the same. Maybe worse. Getting over someone you never dated is like mourning a dream you never fully lived, and it’s often harder than people think.

Why Does It Hurt So Much?

According to Dr. Guy Winch, a psychologist specializing in emotional health, unrequited love and “almost-relationships” can be more painful than actual breakups. Why? Because when there’s no clear ending, you’re left with what ifs instead of closure. You didn’t just lose them—you lost the imagined future you created with them.

These relationships often exist in a state of anticipation. Every text, every look, every near-kiss feels like it’s building to something… until it doesn’t. Your brain, conditioned by the dopamine spikes of romantic excitement, has to go through withdrawal. And withdrawal isn’t easy.

Signs You’re Stuck in the ‘Almost’ Loop

• You replay conversations, wondering what you could’ve said differently.
• You romanticize their flaws because they never fully revealed them.
• You’re addicted to the fantasy, not the reality of who they actually are.

When the mind clings to potential rather than the truth, moving on can feel like pulling yourself out of quicksand.

How to Heal When There’s No Breakup

1. Mourn the Fantasy:
   Give yourself permission to grieve the relationship that could’ve been. Write it down, cry it out, and acknowledge that it was real to you, even if it wasn’t to them.

2. Stop Stalking Their Social Media:
   Easier said than done, but it’s a must. Watching them move on (or imagining what they’re up to) will keep you trapped. If you can’t resist, consider a digital detox or mute their accounts.

3. Shift the Narrative:
   Instead of focusing on what you lost, think about what you gained. Did they inspire you to try something new or remind you what you’re looking for in a partner?

4. Lean Into Your Own Desires:
   Reconnect with the things that light you up. New hobbies, friends, and goals will help replace the emotional gap they left behind.

Create a ‘New You’ Ritual

Sometimes, healing starts with a symbolic fresh start. Put on your most confident outfit (we recommend our It’s Hot tights—because nothing says “I’m moving on” like bold statement pieces), and remind yourself that you don’t need validation from someone who was never fully yours.

Final Thoughts

The truth is, you’re not mourning them—you’re mourning the version of them that only existed in your mind. And once you let go of that version, you make room for someone real.

Because the right person won’t leave you wondering. They’ll leave you certain.